Time and Space

Growing up is tough.  You have to worry about school, friends, boys, your parents, doing the right thing--the list goes on and on.  Music and writing is one of my outlets.  However, have you ever had those times when you just found the perfect song to describe your situation?  I always thought about how cool it would be to assemble my life's soundtrack. 

Anyway, remember how cooties were the worse possible situation that could happen?  You would avoid them at all costs and not get your heart broken.  You would never have to worry about if he thinks you're cute, or if you're pretty.  You would never have to stress over how long things would last and if your friendship would outstand a fall out.

I've been hurt many times and I guess that's all just a part of growing up.  You climb and you fall and you learn so you can climb even higher.  As much as I hate to admit it, I think I've grown numb to the pain in a way.  I won't allow myself to put  my guards down because my third time wasn't a charm.

There is this person who I value very much, but our history wasn't a clean slate.  I feel like there's so much pressure on me from school to my friends to this guy and it's hard pleasing everyone.  I feel like I've changed a lot and I'm drifting away from everyone.  My school work is my number one priority, but there's always the thought of him in the back of my head driving me crazy.

I know I need some space.  I need time to think, but I'm afraid he'll take it the wrong way.  I'm scared to be alone lose him.  I'm hanging onto the last thread and I wish I had more time to have a moment to myself. 

While listening to my iPod, I came across this song, Sometimes by the underground artist, Luunatic.  This song is about needing space and time for one self.  The distance is causing a strain on the relationship and the recent feelings are forced.

I sometimes feel that way.  There is a huge distance between us in the sense that I have so much work to do that I basically lock myself in my room without any communication to the outside world.  Some of the times, I feel like I am fronting the feelings because I don't want to disappoint anyone and the other times, my feelings are genuine and sincere.

Anyway, here is the song with the lyrics.