It's Like Looking

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

--Lysha

Friends are an amazing miracle in life.  Growing up is tough.  There is a long list of things that we encounter on that journey of discovering who we are.  From day one on this Earth until we lay down to rest, we are challenged on many levels.  In my high school years, I deal with your typical teen problems such as homework, parents, stress, boys, drama etc.  After four years, most people would get tired of hearing the same old stories over and over again.  However, a true friend will always be there to listen and repeat the same advice over and over again, even if you do not take it and instead, do the exact opposite.

Recently, I felt like I completely lost track of where I was going and sight of who I am.  I felt like I hit rock bottom, but I have a friend, who helped me get back on track.  In fact, I am blessed to have many whom I spent this Winter Break with.  However, there is one, who honestly made such a huge difference and really showed me who I really am inside, beneath all of my fronts and the drama.  She prevented me from making some really stupid decisions out of hurt and anger.  There really is no possible way for me to fully express my gratitude, but I hope she realizes someday how important she is to me.

Her understanding, support and love inspired me to write this poem, which I have dedicated to her, along with my other girlfriends, little sister, grandmother, aunt and mother.  Thank you for always being there and putting up with me.

It’s like looking at a photo,

After it’s been hung, years ago.

You know that you’re there...

Somewhere under the blanket of dust.

Thinking back, I remember those days where,

Cootie shots were a must,

And morning pills were gummy vitamins.

Decisions were black and white,

And I never had to worry about a thing,

Because Daddy always led me to the right.

It’s like looking into a pond,

After the pebble is gone.

You know that you’re there...

Somewhere beneath the never-ending ripples.

Thinking back, I remember when I never had a care;

Everything was so simple,

And my worse fear was nothing more,

Than getting an apple for lunch.

But now reality comes knocking on the door,

With its effects hard and fast like a punch.

It’s like looking at the mirror,

After you’ve finished a shower.

You know that you’re there...

But the image isn’t quite clear.

Thinking back, I remember that one dare,

That brought to life a new set of fears.

Discovered that life could be gone just like that,

Realized that loved ones will not always be around,

Learned that one decision could be my last,

Now completely lost and trying to be found.

But nothing is comparable to looking into the eyes,

Of a friend, an aunt, a sister or a mother,

Because beyond those windows lies,

The secret to making everything clearer.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope you’re all having an amazing holiday, surrounded by family and loved ones.

My week was packed with catching up, having some R & R and doing homework.  I am honestly so grateful for these two weeks to just unwind after a hectic first four month of my senior year.  Seriously, there is so much going on from getting the proper grades for certain programs to applying to those programs and not to mention your typical teen drama.  Nonetheless, I guess if I am being totally honest, a small part of me is happy for all of that because imagine if life was a straight path without twists and turns.  Pretty boring and tedious, huh?

Anyway, that is besides the topic.  This post is dedicated to all those special people in my life.  I just want to take this time to thank everyone for their wishes and presents.  It means a lot that you are taking time out of your day to send me a quick text, give me a call or going out and getting me a gift. 

Gift-wise, thanks to:

My family (mom, dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles), who all pitched in money so I could get the Coach wristlet that I have been eying for some time, but had no money to buy LOL.  Love you all!

Darlene Tran (wifey & sister), who got me a snowman beanie, a Hello Kitty (charm?) necklace and Hello Kitty buttons.  I love it!  They’re all so cute!  Thanks <3!

Sonia Nguyen (my blood sister), who made me a really pretty card and drew a Hello Kitty picture in it (yes, i LOVE Hello Kitty).  She also gave me a beautiful necklace that symbolizes sisterhood.  I love you and I am so glad that you are my little sister! 

My other uncle, who gets me a Christmas bear every year because I asked (I haven't seen it yet though xD).  Haha, I also LOVE stuffed animals (half of my bed is filled to the top with stuffed animals and the pile WILL continue to grow!).  Thanks for all your help and willingness to give me a ride when you can!  I appreciate everything you do! 

Ashani Jodha (my Secret Santa), who got me The Last Song DVD.  LOL I had the bootlegged version >_<, but if you have read my previous blogs, I LOVE the movie so much so I had to get the real version.  Thanks for everything, not just the gift!

Kathy Hill (my other wifey & sister), who got me something.  LOL I don’t know what it is yet because I haven’t had the chance to see her all break ;(.  Whatever it is, I am sure I’ll love it nonetheless, so thanks! <3

And to everyone who spent time with me this break!  Your presence is enough =) <3.

I love everything that I got this year and I want to thank everyone who got me a gift, but most importantly, I want to thank everyone for being in my life and keeping me in theirs.  I love you all!

Happy Holidays, everyone!  Have a safe and fun one!  =)

Honestly - Maribelle Anes

On Youtube, I am subscribed to Maribelle Anes and Lil Crazed, two unsigned, but amazing and talented, artists.  These two are one of my favourite Youtube artists of all time and astonishingly enough, they decided to collaborate on a song, which freakishly enough, describes a situation that I am currently in.

Honestly is a song that Maribelle wrote to a friend, expressing her concern for that friend because of a guy that she is dating.  At this age—actually, at any age—guys are the worse in the sense that until you find the right one, there are billions that you have to go through, which usually end up with you getting hurt.  At least, that is what I have concluded from my experiences. 

I do not always make the right decisions when it comes for guys and a lot of the times, the reasons behind those choices are not viable.  However, I decide what I decide because I like the thought of having someone or because I want to do those cute couple things.  The downside: not everyone is worth having around or the effort to do those things.  My friends tell me this all the time, but of course, I have to learn the hard way.  Anyways, everything that Maribelle sings in this song reflects everything that my friends have been saying to me.

Here is the video and the lyrics:

Verse 1
i know you
you know me
we've been friends
for a while and i can see
that you are fakin
i know that you hate it
you like the idea
not so much him
he's good looking, so wealthy
but theres other opportunities
i can't take it
he treats you like nothing
you say he aint worth it
then you turn around

Chorus
2 seconds later
your running back to his arms
do me a favour
tell me its more than enough
tell me the truth
is he making you happy
can you make it through
tell me honestly

Verse 2
is he that perfect?
does he make you smile
can you show me what
is making him worth the while
is he everything
and his personality
don't think im getting in between
im just protecting you
cause you say he aint right then

Chorus

Bridge
i can't take to see my best friend cry
you apparently love him and i wanna know why
he's a player - he's a double time dater
honestly he aint right for you
for you

Lil Crazed
now hold up you aint ever even met me,
won't give me a chance to "work out" but you SWEAT me?
lets see, can you tell me how that's fair huh?
real with my lady, i don't wear "Mascara"
because see i don't "make up" lies
i'm down for my girl, you're just way uptight
false assumptions and to me that hurts,
dont judge a book by it's cover girl, read it first,
and she deserves, more than me,
i know that but fortunately, i meet her standards,
so every single time you question her happiness, i'm still her answer,
bravo, i applaud you looking out,
but try looking in and you'll see what i'm about,
i admit, there's still a bit to POLISH me,
but trust me i'ma NAIL it, honestly

Chorus

Christmas Is

This is a poem/choral piece/spoken word that my friend, Ramona Persaud, and I wrote for our school's December Festival Show, which was filled with many amazing pieces that connected to the many holidays in this month.

Christmas Is... is a piece depicting two point-of-views on the Christmas holiday.  One is from a middle- to high-classed person who is enjoying the holiday and the happiness it brings.  The other is from a homeless person on the street forgotten in the midst of the holiday rush.

Christmas is a time of happiness--

Supposed to be a time of happiness; but it is a time of sorrow.

Waiting for Santa to bring our gifts,

Wondering if there will be another tomorrow.

Spending time with the family,

A warm dinner in my beautiful home;


A welcoming shelter from the wind and snow.
The warm fireplace; never cold.
Christmas tree is up,
Lights are shining bright.

A place of laughter and love,

Where everything is perfectly right.


A neverending spread of food;
Gathered together in the Christmas mood.
The room fills with excited chatter,
As we reminisce of the year that just passed.

Never been happier;

The perfect time to catch up and relax.

Surrounded by a sea of faces'

Love, support, care and kindness.

So blessed, so grateful, so lucky,

To be kept out of harm's way.

My strength, my world, my family;

The ones with open arms always.

Now looking forward to a new year,

Filled again with fortune and good cheer.

Whatever that may lie beyond the horizon,

I will overcome without any fear,

Because when all is said and done,

I will always have the support of my family here.

Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays...

Olunike Adeliyi

On Tuesday, we were honoured to be in the presence of Olunike Adeliyi.  Born and raised in Brampton, Ontario, she really is the living proof that we can all make it if we have the passion and drive.  It is truly inspirational to have someone who is home grown become someone so successful and accomplished.  Brampton, being so small and away from city, it is hard to believe that anyone can make it big in this industry.  However, seeing her, I feel that it is possible to reach my dreams, despite where I live.  She was like me, a hopeful actress growing up and schooled in Brampton.  Now, she is a superstar, owning the red carpet and well on her way to taking over the world if she wanted to.  Looking at her allows me to believe that in a couple of years, that could be me too.

Her vibe and presence was breathtaking.  As soon as she entered the drama studio, it was like time stopped for a moment.  She has such grace and poise and her personality is remarkable.  Olunike was really open and genuine when answering our questions.  At first, we were all too starstruck to say anything, but then the questions kept coming and the next thing we knew, our time was up.  Even then, many of us were still picking at her brain right up to the last second, when the bell rang.

Ultimately, I just want to thank you, Olunike, for coming into our class and showering us with your wealth of knowledge.  Personally, thanks for demonstrating with me how to create a spark with another actor for a scene, even though in reality, there really is not any.   I will never forget your visit and the impact that you left on me.  Honestly, I am so inspired by what you had to say and your authenticity and genuineness is beyond words.  You know who you are and who you want to be and you have that vibe about you that you will not stop until all of your dreams are accomplished.  Your liveliness will always remain with me and I admire you so much for your ability to stay real.  Hope I will be able to see you soon!

A Christmas Redemption Epilogue

"Hi!  I’m Zoey!"

Today was closing night for A Christmas Redemption and it was indescribable.  The feelings afterwards were as bittersweet as ever.  I was relieved that this journey has come to an end because all of our hard work is shown to the world and hopefully have inspired and touched hearts.  Watching the reactions of the audience and hearing their feedback was amazing.  It truly showed that our late nights and sacrifices weren’t in vain.  However, it is also sad to know that this is the end.  This chapter of my life is closing much too soon.  There were so many amazing people on the cast and crew and I wish I had more time to spend with them.  Because rehearsals were by scene, I was either not in attendance or in another room practicing with my fellow actors.  As a result, there wasn’t much socializing time.  Luckily, come performance day, we were all stuck in the same dance studio/green room for hours on end.  It was great though.  I was able to talk to most of the cast and crew, if not everyone.  We laughed, made jokes, teased one another and created long-lasting memories.

The two girls, Sienna and Layla, from our beauty salon scene were so lovable.  They always put a smile on my face and they were so adorable.  Layla kept following me like a cute little puppy and it was heartbreaking to have to say 'bye' to both of them.  They were great to work with.  I'll miss you guys! <3

To all of my SVP family and the Acting Academy alumnus: it was inspirational to be able to work with all of you guys.  Everyone was exceptional and truly raised the bar for following scenes.  We all helped each other out when we can and were there to support one another.  It was amazing to be around my friends, but also the successful graduates of the Acting Academy to just soak in their expertise.

To the rest of the cast and crew: you guys are all truly wonderful.  Everyone was so friendly and even with one small ‘hi’, we could start up a conversation.  I am so grateful that I was able to work with such terrific people.  Nobody felt that they were better than one another and I could talk to anyone.  This feeling of closeness from such strangers was truly a blessing to experience, so thank you.

Lastly, to my family and friends who came out to support me and to those who couldn’t come, but were still rooting for me: your support really means the world to me.  I am so glad that all of you could make it and that I was able to share with you my love for the dramatic arts.  Thank you for your everlasting support.  I hope I didn’t disappoint. xD

I had an amazing and unforgettable time being in A Christmas Redemption.  It was my first time being in a Mainstage producation and it was an unbelievable experience.  Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous at all.  While in the wings, I was excited and relaxed.  Even on stage and seeing the full house, I was at ease and happy to perform.  Although I felt like I could have brought more to the table and done a better job, many people have come up to me to congratulate me on my role.  I am very honoured for this feedback and thrilled, yet I also know that I could improve.  Nonetheless, this was a great first experience and I hope there are many more to come.

Thank you to everyone on the cast and crew.  You were all amazing to work with and I hope to see you all again.  Also, thank you to those who came out to support me and the entire production.  It really made a difference and I hope you enjoyed the show. =)

Love you all! <3

**for more photos, click here

Speak Up!

We are always told to mind our own business and that prying into the concerns and lives of others is rude.  However, when you see something wrong, should those rules apply?  If you see someone getting bullied at school or on the internet, should you leave them?  It’s their problem; they must have done something to provoke the other person.  Regardless, why should you make yourself a target by helping out someone you barely know?

Not doing anything and staying quiet adds to the problem.  You most definitely are not the solution.  Not speaking up allows the bully to continue with their aggressive and hurting ways.  I have been put in these situations before.  I don’t want to get involved because I don’t want to be the next victim.  However, I think about how I would feel if people were merely watching instead of helping.  I hate the fact that people must put others down to make themselves feel better or bring them down to their levels.  

I’m not perfect; I don’t always put my feet down.  There are times when I summon up enough courage and bravery to do something and that is one thing that I will work on.  It’s not fair for the victims to be bullied because of the bully’s own insecurities.  When it comes down to it, I put myself into the victim’s shoes and that motivates me to stand up.

If you are afraid of being targeted for standing up, you can always report the incident anonymously.  Some people may call you a snitch, but others will look up to you.  Many of us want to do something, but we are scared.  By seeing someone rise up against all of the rumours and gossiping and making a difference in someone’s life, I, as I’m sure many other people, unquestionably will have the utmost respect and admiration for that person.  You can also reach out to these victims because there is always strength in numbers.

In these situations, we, as bystanders, have the most power, if you think about it.  The victim obviously can’t really do anything about it or else they wouldn’t be a victim.  The bully, more often than not, is acting up out of insecurities and his/her own problems.  They merely are putting on a tough front to hide their powerlessness.  Us bystanders, we can either help the victim by reporting the bullying or we can help the bully by not saying anything.  In some ways, we are the tipping point of the situation.  We are the decision makers.  We decide if the situation escalates or is shut down for good.

Therefore, I would like to challenge you to stand up and be the bigger person when you witness bullying.  You don’t have to throw yourself at the bully, but don’t just stand there either.  Put yourself in the victim’s shoes and remember that we all need to stand by each other in times of hardship.  You never know when you’ll be on the other side of the insults and abuse, so speak up while you can.

Remember, silence is consent.

Never There - Relationship Scene

(title subject to change)

It’s Christa’s nineteenth birthday and her boyfriend, Derek, promised to be home to celebrate her special day.  However, he gets held back in New York City where he is negotiating a contract for an upcoming project.  Therefore, he decides to plan a surprise dinner with an extra special gift for her instead.  In spite of this, Christa, weary and fed up with Derek’s constant bailing, confides in a close guy friend who takes her out to dinner to comfort her. 

Since Derek is rarely home, disputes do not happen often between him and Christa.  However, the lack of communication between the two takes a toll on their relationship as many of their fights and arguments rises from those bottled up feelings.  Christa deals with these problems by drinking and being away from the apartment she shares with Derek as much as possible.  This raises concern for Derek, who means well, but is not always in control of his emotions.

Events take a turn for the worse when Derek returns home and finds Christa still in her alcoholic habits.  He completely loses it and Christa as well, who sees her estranged and abusive father in Derek.  She decides to duck out of the relationship before a repeat of her parents’ troubles occurs with her and Derek.

For my relationship scene, I am playing Christa and working with a great and amazing actor, Nathanial Matthews, who will be playing Derek.  I am really excited about this because we have been doing comedic scenes all semester long.  Now it's time for a slice of life, as my teacher would say. 

  

 

I remember back in grade ten, I hated doing comedy and sitcoms.  Okay, I didn't really hate it, but I felt that I was very weak in it and if I was given a more serious character, I would be able to pull it off much stronger.  However, now, I enjoy doing comedy and making people laugh, so this assignment is a little intimidating.  Since it's a relationship scene, typically intimate, it feels a little awkward to be so transparent in front of an audience.  Nevertheless, I will take on this challenge with a positive attitude because I will have to be able to do all kinds of genres and characters if I want to be well-rounded.  Also, this will definitely be a neat experience.

Anyway, stay tuned and I'll keep you updated on the process and how this goes.  Performances are after the break, but still, wish us luck! =)

Fairytales

I grew up to stories like Cinderella finding her Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty awakened by her Prince, Ariel finding true love from a human creature and Belle seeing the beauty in the Beast.  Those fairytales taught me to believe in myself, to have hope for the future and to love.  They took my young mind on a journey of fantasy.

However, just as life would have it, the times to daydream eventually fade into reality where good is not as easy to find,  believing in yourself is harder than it seems and keeping the faith becomes difficult.  One lesson that I learned is that fairytales don’t always have a happy ending and they don’t always come true.

I have yet to find my happy ending when it comes to love.  I always choose the wrong guy or fall too fast and hard.  I put my heart into what I hope would last and I come out disappointed.  I cry tears in vain, hoping that that first spark of magic would return. 

Over time, I realize that life is not like those childhood stories...  You can’t eat a poisonous apple and expect the perfect man to come by and kiss you; and you can’t find your Prince Charming by losing a shoe.

Love is hard, but if the memories created are worth the tears, maybe the price that we pay at the end is worth the while. 

I will never forget those nights sitting by your side in silence as we are comforted by each other’s presence. 

I will never forget those days where we laughed and thought that it would never end. 

I will never forget those arguments that left us in tears. 

Those memories... when I look back, I don’t believe that my time was wasted.  Sure, it doesn’t last forever, but maybe that’s what love is all about.  Maybe it’s about finding the happiness and familiarity in that moment and just living there. Maybe it’s about sharing that one memory, that one embrace, that one kiss, with someone special.  Maybe it’s about being heartbroken, over and over again, until that special one comes.  Maybe it’s all of those things that make up the journey of love.

Fairytales don’t always have a happy ending... but my ending hasn’t come yet.  I understand that I still have my whole life ahead of me and I realize that when I’m older, I want a chronicle of stories to share with my children.  I want to touch other people’s lives, even if just for a moment.  I want to make people smile and I want to smile in spite of myself because of that special someone. 

Regardless, I will continue to love and be heartbroken, so long as by the end of my time, I will have a story to share that will inspire, lift and touch hearts...

...because when all is said and done, love is more a journey than a destination.

*this is not me LOL

The Last Song

“A story about family, first loves, second chances and the moments of life that lead you back home.”

I just finished reading The Last Song and I was left with a bittersweet feeling.  I was glad that the Ronnie’s problems were resolved and she learned to open her heart and forgive.  However, I was devastated that the novel was over and there was nothing left to read.  Nicholas Sparks is an exceptional writer that knows how to pull on all of the reader’s emotions and take your average summer romance and turn it into a wonderful, coming of age story.

The Last Song is about a girl, Ronnie Miller, who is forced to spend a summer with her estranged father.  At first, she is reluctant and rebellious.  However, as the story progresses, she learns to forgive her father as the two of them begin to find common ground.  During her stay with her father, Ronnie falls in love with a local boy, Will Blakelee, who burdens a secret that may destroy their relationship.

Throughout the story, Ronnie experiences her first love and heartbreak and finds a new side of her that she never thought existed.  She also rediscovers the love between her and her dad and the one thing they have in common: music.

After watching the movie, I knew that I had to read the book because it was just that amazing.  I was able to relate to all of the problems and emotions that Ronnie experiences.  As a result, by the end of the movie and novel, my eyes were red and puffy.  I was crying buckets!  The tears kept coming and they wouldn’t stop.  The Last Song reminded me of the summer two years ago where I, too, experienced my first love, constant fighting with my father and the loss of the people who meant the world to me.  Watching the movie and reading the novel, I felt like Sparks was retelling my whole summer in the eyes of Ronnie Miller and it just brought back all of those memories.

I have no regrets transitioning from the movie to the novel because it had so much more detail than the movie and it enclosed many other perspectives of that summer that Ronnie had.  The magic of the movie was prolonged and even though my novel was overdue twice, I knew I had to finish the book before letting it go.
 

The Last Song is definitely my favourite story of all time and I would strongly recommend both the movie and novel to anyone.  It is an remarkable story that almost anyone can relate to one way or another.  Sparks’ ability to tell a compelling and poignant story is clearly evident in this novel.  Both the movie and novel taught me to love, have hope and to not take anything for granted.  This story really touched me and will stay with me for the rest of my life.  No amount of words can ever describe how phenomenal this story is.